Glimpse Of Love -- Poems Written by: CP1982Jackson

Imaginations going through me,
just like a bolt of lighting
hoping and dreaming
of what I'd like and want
to feel with you.
Just when I'm thinking
that I don't know what to do,
there you are feeling it tool
Intensity of all those feelings
that we've always dreamed.
Let's not waste another day
just waiting for a special moment to arrive,
the right time is now.
I don't want to live another day
without letting you know that I love you.
I just want you to know how I feel.
When I'm near you,
I just can't think of the right words to say.
When you talk, I'm overwhelmed.
I enjoy your presence because you have
the most wonderful laugh.
Your smile just lights up a room.
Your sense of humor has no limits.
Whenever you are near,
all of my troubles disappear.
With every kiss of your loving lips,
I hope each time that there will be more.
All I ever wanted was you and in my mind,
I've thought of you half a million times.
Oct 8

There she was just around the corner,
she was everything that a man dreams of
with her tight pants and long flowing hair,
with her shirt hanging out and cut way low.
Didn't really think that you'd fall for her,
she's gonna kick you to the curb.
Even though she looks like a beauty queen,
her heart is not completely in it.
For all the times when you bought her things
and took her out on expensive dates,
I know she couldn't have appreciated you
the way that I would have.
All of the times
when she's holding you in her arms,
she's whispering lies.
When she looks into your eyes
and says that she loves you,
it's not true.
You know it won't last.
I think of you often, wherever I go.
You say that you just want me to be your friend
and it's okay for me to know.
However, I can't stop feeling
for you these feelings i have inside.
All I ever really wanted was you,
holding you close, near me,
embracing you in my arms.
I once was standing in the rain,
those were the tears that I've cried over you.
It was really me, the one who loved you the most.
Through all of your faults,
your silly personality,
I could just listen to you for hours at a time.
It seemed as though i could never get enough of you.
She doesn't love you the same way as me.
When you chose her, I knew then that
I could never love you in the same way as before.
Oct 8/9

Never in my mind did I ever think
that you were so desperate, so insecure.
Just waiting for the right moment
to try to get back into my life.
All of the crazy promises
you want me to believe.
You've made up dreams
already in your mind.
Thinking of me too much this time.
I can't believe that you really think that I need you,
but I keep telling you that it is not true.
If it ever eases your mind,
deep inside my heart,
you're not there.
And I've moved on,
long before you ever knew.
God only knows the real truth.
You've got so many lies
attached to your smiling face.
I could never want you at any time or place.
That's the truth, that's what's in my heart.
For like I've told you before,
I just want you to walk out my door.
There's no real love for you heere.
Wish you'd go and disappear.
In time, I know you will soon see
that my love for someone else
will be more genuine than you could ever be.

I think of you so many times,
can't seem to get you off of my mind.
Waiting for you, seems like years go by.
Too many tears I know I've cried.
Yes, now I am able to see,
your true and gentle love that's within so deep.
When you see me standing there,
I know you will embrace me with your loving arms.
It won't seem then as though I had waited so long.
You will feel so good.
Just now, I feel inside, I've flown above the world.
The man I've always dreamed of
has finally felt my loving embrace.
All of the tears that you have cried,
I'll wipe them off of your face.
Never again will anyone else hurt
or damage our hearts.
'Cause today and forever,
I will always be your best friend.
Sept 10, 2006

She hurt you bad, damaged your pride.
You are so bundled up with pain.
So unable to see real love
staring you right in your face.
Although your thoughts and wonderous smiles,
gleem on your face all the while.
Just know that I'll be your best friend,
always until the very end.
So many times, I've held you within my loving arms.
Almost brought tears to my eyes.
But after a while I realized
that we weren't really meant
to be together in the way
that I thought that I wanted.
You are my best friend.
We could be together for hours
literally falling asleep in each others arms.
You can always know I really care.
Never judging, just loving instead.
I think that all you really need now,
is for me to be your best friend.
Sept 10, 2006

All of my life, I've searched and prayed
that somehow maybe just one day,
that I could magically meet,
that someone special who was unique.
Always felt as though I was so alone,
always feeling incomplete.
At least that was until I met you.
As soon as I felt your warm embrace,
saw the smile gleeming upon your face,
I felt an ease come upon me,
a complete fulfillment undescribably so.
Your tender lips, can't get enough,
your warm embrace wasn't even rough.
Just holding you close felt so wonderful and true,
even from the first moment when I first met you.
Somehow, I am like a young adult again,
never able to get you off of my mind.
And then, when I think of your wonderous smiles,
your joyous laughter all of the while,
I so very much just want to hold and kiss you again,
desiring to hold you, every single time then.
Wish you were here even now,
missing your face, your laughter, your smiles.
Lying next to each other so close,
it's hard to imagine how so very easily
it would have neer been,
had things not worked out the way that it did.
Should you ever decide to ever go your separate way,
I just want you to know that
you've completely opened a door to my heart.
The least I could ever hope is to always be your closest friend.
Sept 15, 2006

Are we as ready as we thought we were?
Ready to fall in love.
Do the dreams that we once had
ever come back in our minds?
Is it possible to be hurt so bad,
that our lives are torn apart.
When all that we really had
is left in a pile of pain.
Here I am lying next to you,
looking in your eyes.
Is it possible that you'll ever hide
your feelings deep inside?
Don't be afraid,
'cause I am here with you tonight.
I've been down so many roads,
I got lost in time.
Somehow, you rescued me,
now I'm not afraid.
Whatever destiny that's before us now,
I'm willing to go through.
I promise I won't hurt or cheat on you,
never lie to you.
I'll open up to you.
I'll be your everything.
I'm the one that you've been seeking for so long.
Sept 15, 2006

Trust is acquired by faith alone.
When you meet someone,
there is mostly suspicion and hurt
which is hidden beneath,
but which is caused by past mishaps.
We must somehow,
set everything aside
and just believe that maybe
we could have been brought together by fate.
Either that, or God himself led me to you.
In whatever the case,
do you really believe in love at first sight,
or that you will possibly just one day feel that way?
If someone told you
that they actually did discover a pot of gold
at the end of the rainbow,
would you believe them,
or did they make it up?
If someone asks me how we met,
expect me to say that you fell out of the sky,
because actually you did.
It wouldn't be hard to believe
that an angel brought you straight from heave.
Just think of if we had never met,
our lives would just continue on in another direction
and somehow we would miss out
on the opportunity of a lifetime.

Why am I I typing in red ink?
Because it represents the love and affection in which I seek.
Represents the intense love in which is bundled up inside of me.
Waiting for the right man to share it with.
I am like a package, I shake, rattle and make all kinds of noises.
However, when you actually open it up
and my inner self is revealed,
you will be amazed as to what I can offer.
I would never lie or cheat on you.
I would never take advantage
of the love in which you would offer.
I would give myself to you and to you alone.
Maybe you are the one person
in whom I've searched for, for so many years.
Maybe you are the one in whom
I've always dreamed of sharing my life with.
Maybe you are the one whom can wipe away
the many tears that I will no longer have.
Maybe you are the one with whom
I can lay next to on these upcoming cold nights.
Maybe you are the one
whom will hold me close to your body
and I will no longer be alone.
I might be hoping just a little, praying a lot,
but these crazy little dreams are all I really got.
I've spent so many nights awake,
just wondering if I'd ever get to meet,
someone special, maybe just a little unique.
If I had a dollar for every single tear that I cried,
I'd done and been a millionaire long before now.
If I had a penny for every second that I felt alone,
the planet would be filled way past the highest mountains,
it would touch the clouds up high.
If I had a nickel for every second in which I had wished for you,
there ain't no telling what that would actually do.
I'm not expecting a perfect man by far,
I'm only just hoping that this may be the last ime,
because I really don't want to look no more.
I'm worn out, I'm exhausted, I've finally given up.
I'm finished searching, now I'm just hoping for the best.
You may hear people say
that there are plenty of fish in the sea,
but I don't believe that at all,
there's no one else for me.
My life is too short to spend so much valuable time
searching for those crazy men out there.
Do you think maybe that you could be the one?
Oct 4, 2006

I can't believe that this is real,
with us feeling what we feel.
I couldn't ever of imagined
someone as good as you.
You're all I've ever wanted,
a dream come true.
I've spent so many nights
staring at the heavens above.
Just waiting for the special moment for
when I could finally meet my true love.
Yes, I've counted ever star above
and should be able to name them all.
But, you were all I really ever wanted,
I was hoping you'd come along,
before they decided to fall.
When you wrap your loving arms around me,
it is so amazing that it feels so good.
When you hold me in your arms,
you take my breath completely away.
So many times, you lay next to me in the night.
We look up at the stars and dream our lives away.
I do not want to let another day go by
without letting you know that I love you.

The way things are going in our lives this very day,
are so truly amazing, so seemingly unreal.
we both know that God has brought us together
and our lives will never again be the same.
Our feelings towards each other is also very much the same.
Right now, I'm still looking at the change
that has occurred in my life
and I am completely overwhelmed
as to how things happened so seemingly fast.
I've searched for you for so many years
that the reality has not yet set in.
I've always wanted someone to love me for who I am,
and just having someone with whom I could enjoy being with.
The more I kiss your tender lips and hold you so tight,
I find myself never getting enough.
What in the world are we going to do,
for now I'm always finding myself wanting to be with you.
No matter where we go or stay, I really find myself to be okay.
Oct 2006

If I made a wish and it would come true,
I would always make a wish just to be with you.
I've thought about all of the things
there are in the world,
but nothing is as fulfilling as just being with you.

I've tried to live without you.
I promised myself that I would at least try,
but when I did, I always had you on my mind.
No matter what I did,
couldn't seem to get rid
of the thoughts of spending time with you.
Everywhere I went, there were memories of you.
Half of me has now moved on,
but the other half does not want to let go.
Wherever i go, I always think of you.
It literally drives me crazy, tears me into.
How could a friendship turn so deep,
you feelings for me will never be.
To hold and love someone,
it still will never be fulfilling.
If I could just simply let go,
maybe I could continue on.
Still yet, I think of your special smiles
and the way you laugh.

I've been lost in the dark for a really long time.
Spent so much time in the dark trying to find my way.
Somehow, you came along and you were the light that shown so bright.
I'm so amazed when I'm in your presence
as to how so loving and comforting you fee.
Then a thought crosses through my mind
as to how much pain both of us have gone through
before finding our way to each other.
I've cried before so hard
that I had even felt my heart stop beating.
It may have seemed as though death
was just moments away
but now as I look back at this momentary thought,
I see now that it only built me up more
to being able to love you even more than ever before.
I spend every day of my life just thinking of your smile,
watching the twinkle in your eyes and your loving embrace.
I find myself unable to get you off of my mind.
May 3, 2009

As I am finding myself thinking of you,
I realize how lucky I really am
as to having you in my life.
I fully understand how short life is
and I find myself completely awestruck.
Still can't believe that I even found you.
I've waited so long it seems.
I wish that I had of met you what seemed so long ago.
Even then, now I know. . .
the time was just not right in my life.
I needed some space to get things right.
The only thing that I really desire
is for someone to truly love me,
that's the only thing I really need.
As the days are now passing by,
I realize more ever day
that it is you that I need in my life.
Slowly, with each passing moment,
I find myself falling in love with you.
It's something that you don't have to worry about
because you've always known deep in your heart,
even from the beginning, that we would be together, never apart.
I also have felt the same way.
I trust you completely and will never push you away.
I long to love you more each day.
I can only hope that our love for each other
will be genuine and true,
each moment and second when I'm with you.
Possibly more than what you could ever hope or dream.
This is what I really want for you and me.

You can now tell your friends
and everyone who you know
that you have finally found the woman,
that you've always wanted so.
You can tell your mother
of how you really feel
and how you found your dreams,
and how they are truly real.
I've always searched for you,
oh, for so very long.
I've spent so many nights
just wishing for my lonely days to be gone.
I've been waiting for this special moment
for when I would finally meet my one true love.
I have always felt so empty,
always lacking truth,
that was at least until when I finally met you.
I have finally figured out,
what life is really all about.
I've waited a lifetime for this moment.
So let's just be real.
You are my lover, my dream come true.
I so very much feel
as though I am beginning
to fall in love with you.
I'll stare into your eyes
and follow all of your dreams.
This is what I really want for you and me.
Hold me in your arms and never let go.
I want to feel all of your passion
and just let my love show.
I have finally found the man who
I want to spend the rest of my life with.
06-18-09

What exactly is love,
how do you really know?
What exactly must you feel
before you say that it is so?
All I know is that when you are away
I feel alone and my arms and body aches to hold you.
My heart beats faster when I think of you.
Just the other morning before I woke up,
I thought that you were laying next to me,
we were talking about things
that we had done in our childhood memories.
Just as you reached over to hold me in your arms
and just as you were kissing me on my lips,
I woke up . . . then I realized that you were gone.
Those are the moments when I know
that I am truly falling in love with you.
also the moments when you are away
is when the loneliness comes back every day.
how I wish that it would not stay.
When I realize that my days away from you
seem so much longer than before.
When I think of you just coming through my front door.
When I am laying all alone,
every moment when you are gone.
Every moment when I go somewhere...
you're not there.
Every time when I am alone,
every time when I go to sleep,
every time when I wake up,
every time when I eat,
every time when I walk out my door,
every time when the phone does not ring.
Every time a song I sing,
every time, yes I miss you.
If this is not love, what will I do?
For so long it has only been me,
in things that I had planned
of how I envisioned that my life would be.
You have made it quite so clear,
every moment when you are so near.
I so very much desire to hold you here
and tell you of how much I am falling for you,
it is quite clear.
No one in the world
could make me feel the way I now do,
that is why I need you so much, it's true.
If this isn't love what will I do?
Every time that a tear falls from your eyes,
every time when you feel as though you may even cry,
just know that I will be here, ready to love you forever.
Every time when you feel as though you need a friend,
every time when you just need a companion.
Every time when you are far away,
every time when you want a special place to stay.
Every time when you are afraid,
every time when you are alone,
yes, every time when you are gone.
Every time when you can't find the right words to say,
every time when you look deep into my soul.
Every time, anywhere at all.
For whatever reason, or cause to be.
I know that I am in love with you and you are in love with me.
06-22-09

When I think of you,
I realize how lucky I really am.
In my wildest dreams,
I never could have envisioned
anyone as good as you.
You are a gift from God himself.
He dropped you into my arms
from the heavens above.
I should be ashamed as to how
I never believed
that God would bring you to me.
Instead, I am thankful
from the deepest part of my soul.
I am so amazed as to how I feel about you.
All along, I've envisioned just being all alone.
Years of pain and hurt have been all that has come my way.
An now, I'm amazed...of finding you.
From the very moment when we first met,
I've always just seemed to know
that you were the very one special person
in whom I want to spend the rest of my life with.
I think about you all of the time,
can't seem to get you off of my mind.
The craziest thing I think that I could possibly do,
is so very easily fall so deeply in love with you.
I can so easily just stare into your eyes
and see all of the love that lingers within.
to me, you are more than just my very best friend.
You are like no other.
I see a deep and passionate love within you.
Deep down inside, way deep beyond your lustrous eyes.
I see into your soul, a passion that you have for me.
This is so much what I really need.
For some reason, I'm starting to care,
because I see that you will always be there.
I think of you every day and always anticipate
the sweet words that you say.
You've spent most of your life searching,
reaching out to only hurt and pain.
No one ever seemed to want to really love you.
Maybe all that it was, no one wanted to take the time.
They somehow missed out
on finding out how special that you really are.
I am filled with so many dreams
of wondering what kind of memories
that we can both hold so dear and true.
So much time, I hope to spend with you.

The world is so cold and bleak,
many harsh words
people do say and even speak.
Caring not of how others feel.
Drifting hate so unreal.
I am so accustomed to being protected.
In a gentle world
sheltered from all others.
Yet, when people say things
I so very easily become offended.
It's not something that I choose to do,
it's just how I am,
so very deeply bruised.
I would rather hide away,
instead of hearing all of the jokes being made.
Long ago, I heard so many things said,
intentional pain,
much through my own dad.
Provoking arguments concerning another,
about the black race among others.
Over time, even from a young child's heart,
I became so injured, so torn apart.
Do not judge or try to even think of me,
For I am who I am
and who I want to be.
When I am bruised and feel pain,
I turn to my music
it is where I feel safe.
For entertainment that is also what I do,
not as an idol as you may think that I do.
Like an imaginary friend as a child does see,
I also have a friend who can be with me.
Who was with me when I was alone?
Who was with me when I felt sad?
Who was with me when I was glad?
Who was there to encourage me?
Who was with me when all of my friends left me?
When they all decided that quiting school
was a cool thing to do.
Who was with me when I was alone in the hospital,
so sick, literally dying.
Other than my mom, no one.
Who was there to comfort me when my brother died?
Who was there when I went through years of depression and anxiety?
Who was there when I had a loveless marriage?
Who was there when I experienced domestic violence?
Who was there when I literally had no place to stay?
Who was there at all any way?
The answer is no one.
Now you may ask, why so much drama?
Why so much pain?
Much of my life was a circumstance of my mistakes.
Yes, I do agree but I do not feel
as though life is a tragedy.
I am only bruised.

*This poem was a result of someone texting a joke to me on the cell phone about Michael Jackson being dead very soon after his death. At the time I was trying to write a letter to them explaining how much it hurt for them to do this, instead it turned into a poem.

What would I do if you were standing there?
I would hold you in my arms and tell you how much I cared.
What would I do if you were standing there?
I would tell you of my dreams and show you what you've shared.
What would I do if you were standing there?
I would cry in your arms and hold you and let all of the tears flow there.
What would I do if you were standing there?
I would take your hand in mine and look straight into your eyes and let you know that you really do have a true friend.
What would I do if you were standing there?
I would never want to let you go, that I know for sure. I would hold you in my arms for hours on end.
What would I do if you were standing there?
I would become so emotionally overwhelmed that I would be unable to speak.
What would I do if you were standing there?
I would look into your eyes and tell you how much you are truly loved.
What would I do if you were standing there?
I would just take a few moments to feel all of the emotional love.
What would I do if you were standing there?
I would sing a song to you to try to express my love for you.
What would I do if you were standing there?
I would take you places and we would talk for hours on end.
What would I do if you were standing there?
I could think of many things I wish I could do...but for now just know that I really do love you.
April 2, 2012

*This poem was written shortly after I had a dream of Michael holding my hand and staring at me. To some this may sound strange but as I woke up...even upon opening my eyes for a few seconds, I could still feel the warmth and touch of his hand.

You are like the sand at the beach,
the sky above far out of reach.
You are like the glowing stars at night,
shining yet so ever bright.
I can feel your loving presence so near me.
From the heavens above, I know you see me.
Like an angel so far above, you still are able
to reach down with your tender love.


In A Dream
I'm lost in one moment in time.
Searching my soul for what I feel is right.
Thinking and dreaming of things to do.
Never once believing in what I can't do.
Again, I am dreaming of the once thought unreachable.
Because of you, I believed.
Because of you, I had enough encouragment to reach for the stars
way down in the most inner part of my soul.
I found your love deep inside.
So far down, almost made me cry.

Do You Really?

You say you understand
exactly how I feel
You say your love is genuine
and really is so real.
You may have tried to understand me
but somehow you may have missed the point
Do you understand the seclusion
the lonely life that I so live?
I've learned that even when you are with someone
if they truly do not understand
you will feel even more alone
so unbelievably real.
Do you understand me really?
So hard to trust people
they always hurt and use
always tend to abuse
the countless lies
the endless goodbyes
Criticism, racism, half truths, half lies
so do you really understand who I am?
when you say such negative things
are you taking into consideration
that you are speaking to a real person on the other side?
I don't want to analize, to try to figure out
do you understand me really, what it's all about?
Are you going to become jealous of what I believe and feel
are you going to tell half truths just to get your way
Or will you really accept me so we can go our way?
Do you understand why I do the things I do
Or are you just pretending like so many do?

In every path in which you choose,
in whatever way you will lose.
To lie with untruths,
I didn't feel the pain
I couldn't believe your deceptive ways.
You break not my heart,
I feel no pain.
Already hard to believe,
such a mindless life you lead.
Trying in your ways
to keep me from to succeed.
Jeolously lies deep within,
far beyond what really appears.
Yes, it seemed too good to be true,
the gentle lies I heard from you.
Everything is ok,
nothing is ever wrong,
today I feel our love could get strong.
You live in a world unlike what I've ever known.
You try to change me slowly in every way.
pull me from what I truly believe in every day.
Trying each day at a time,
to slowly change my style of life.
To mold me into your fantasy world,
a mindless life, so unreal.
Do this, do that, if you truly love me
that's a fact.
I've heard the words well too often,
and it just adds to what I've already gone through.
You're a heck of a player I've got to say,
all the thoughtless mind games that you play.
But, I've been taught by the best,
I know your strategy way before the rest.
Just know that I'm not even half as crazy as you!
I didn't feel the pain
when you said your goodbyes,
no I didn't even cry.
Fact is I enjoy my life!

Prisoner

You're a prisoner of your thoughts and emotions.
You're a prisoner from the way people treated you.
Capture by the decisions that you made,
somehow feeling things would go your way.
How could it be,
with things the way they are.
Entangled in chains of decisions
you have to be set free from the pain.
Lured into illusions and feelings of your heart.
People taking advantage of you.
You have to stop the trauma
of the pain inside of your soul,
so you don't stay a prisoner I'm told.
Escape from the madness
from the inner part of your soul.
So you don't remain a prisoner I'm told.
You can't go on living with pain inside of you.
So let go of all the negative energy,
it will set you free
Start believing in yourself,
of what you can do.
Never yet believing of what others
may often say to you.
stop waiting for someone
to give you what you think you need.
Start making your own choices
then you will believe.
The future is still yet to come,
soon you'll be set free.
5-22-13

Paparazzi

Paparazzi what do you want from me?
I ain't got a clue,
of what you're gonna do.
You say you just want
to take a simple picture for your magazine,
but you are only really gonna cause a scene.
The truth is what you take from me,
is all of my privacy.
Yes, paparazzi what you really do to me,
can't hardly breathe.
Feel like going out of my mind.
Keep feeling that in all due time,,
you'll fix the wrong back to right,
instead you make a fight.
Messing with me day and night.
Hiding in the shadows,
watching every move I make.
My soul you wanna take.
Paparazzi what you do to me,
is take my privacy.
You see, I really don't need
your manipulations,
all of of those false accusations.
For those who do not understand,
the paparazzi take all they can.
They don't care about your feelings
or who you really are.
The bigger you are,
such a big star.
Will tear you down
and they don't care how.
It will not take you far.
You'll only fall from hurt and pain,
will never be the same.
It's the press to blame.
So do not waste your time
believing everything you see or read,
until you actually speak to the person about it,
then maybe you might believe.

I See You (homeless people)

This could be your mother,
your father, your friend.
If you don't think it would be you,
you better think again.
I've seen you before,
many times just sitting there.
Who knows just what you were thinking
or how long you would be there.
I've seen you out on the street
with not much in your hand.
I've seen you pushing a cart,
alone, maybe just walking down the street.
I wondered if you even had anything
at all to eat.
I've seen you with a dog who maybe
decided to tag along.
I've seen you in a small tent slightly hidden away
alone in the cold, alone even in all kinds of weather.
I've seen you before with your hopeless expressions.
How in the world can someone help another
with so much stress and depression?
The vicious circle that you are in,
someone tell me when will it end?
We are all really just a few pay checks away,
before we become these people whom walk
the streets each day.
It could be you. Think of this even as you
choose to look away.
Do not laugh or joke about their situation.
This could soon be you. Someone help their desperation.